I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize