Do you still have your period?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
