i think my mom watched the whole time
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
