i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
