I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
