I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
