Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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