Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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