puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
