what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I checked into jail on foursquare
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize