There is no way he is gay with that hair.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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