I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
