There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
