its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
