i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
