But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
