Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
