Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
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