Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
