Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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