She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
