I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
