i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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