I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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