i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
What a dumb baby whore.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
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