Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
