i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
