Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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