just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
