community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
