Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
