she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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