my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
