i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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