At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
