i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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