Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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