My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
