Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
