they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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