so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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