If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
