Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
