Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
