We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
