Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
