aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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