That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
how do flat chested girls get laid?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize