I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
