He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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