I like my sex mixed with concussions.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
