Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
