If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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