I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Enjoy the penises
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
