Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
