I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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