I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
