You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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