You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
