I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
