i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
