So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
