I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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