She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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