so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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