The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
